October 18th, 2005

life begins - me

Where my head's at

A proper catch-up with me post, rather than icons or memes or sign-ups... Wonders'll never cease.

I still haven't heard back from Psychological Services about an appointment, some days - like today - I think maybe I don't need to go, that maybe I'm okay again, and then I get days and weeks where every single thing gets to me and I think, "Yeah, I need help with this". Last week was bad, I'll be the first to admit that, I was an utter bitch to people in RL, not much better to folks online, and I pushed people and things away from me again. I know that's the crux of my problem - isolationism - but I still do it every time it gets bad. I'm fine now though, the broken toys filling my head are currently in the teddy-bear hospital getting fixed. Ha! That was something my dad used to say when I was a kid, I haven't used that turn of phrase forever and it suddenly came out there. Odd.

Health-wise, being down like this plus the blood sugar issues drops my immune system way down so if there's a bug going around I'll get it. So for the next six months I will be constantly sneezing and coughing. I can cope with it though - the lemon and ginger tea willowmina  recommended to me a while back makes the world of difference, especially with a tiny bit of local honey in there... mmmm. Other than that I actually feel pretty healthy. Still could do with dropping a few pounds and definitely need to do something about getting fit again, but it's not too bad.

Work-wise, I ran out of things to do yesterday morning at 10am. I mean everything. I usually have back-up stuff kicking about my desk that gets pushed aside for days when things are slow. Nope, all done. I have no idea what I'm going to do for the rest of today!

Family-wise, well, I got a call from my sister last night asking me how to fix her VCR. Over the phone. Ha! I did it as well, and it worked in the end apparently. Nephew and Niece had made a video at nursery that day - some kind of blue-screen thing where they sit in a toy jeep and someone maps in moving images behind them. I think it was dinosaurs or something. Apparently the video costs £15 to buy. She's buying it, despite the fact that the ChromaKey was off on Niece (she's really blonde and her hair was transparent through most of the video apparently) and also despite the fact that she owes me £400 and the bank £500 (on top of loans and mortgage arrears). *sigh* looks like I won't be getting my car fixed any time soon then... She also said to me (at 7:55) "so what are you up to then?" I said "Waiting for SG-1 to start in five minutes." Twenty minutes later (after much grumbling about how everyone and their dog is ripping her off) she says "So what's your plans for tonight?" I say "Well, I was going to watch SG-1 but it started quarter an hour ago..." (Yeah, I could have hung up on her but it was a repeat anyway - just making the point that she doesn't listen to a word I say at all....) Families, dontcha love 'em?

Other-wise. Almost done on the site for my friend. It'll be hosted on Moments-Lost for the moment (it's only a few pages but is damn interesting stuff). This is my friend the published author, Stuart Harris-Logan, the site will be on 'Gaelic Shamanism' and from what I've read whilst I've been coding it, it's fascinating.

I'm making myself busy again as well, there's Stu's site, there's the revamp of Effects (I'm going with the red and black by the way!), there's the launch of Can I Have You?, there's the rework of the main Moments Lost page, there's the content to code for I Am Unwritten (my personal fic site) and then there's something else....

NaNoWriMo is kinda... worrying and exhilarating at the same time. I've still not settled on an idea for it - I've narrowed it down to two but I'm concerned they're both incredibly derivative and with the time limits imposed on it I could easily stray into inadvertent plagiarism. (One is akin to Iain Banks (without the M. - same guy, just not sci-fi) and the other is Orwellian - you can't say I don't aim high!). I still have a while to settle on one of them, and to plan it out so that I steer clear of the plagiarism trap. Thirteen days counts as a 'while' doesn't it? And then there's joss100  which should be a lot of fun if a bit daunting. 100 Simon Tam fics, given the fact that I've not written Simon's pov ever should be interesting to say the least! Plus, I may still get the fanfic100  claim for Mara Jade - that one should be slightly easier, although it really has been an incredibly long time since I've written Mara (in her own universe - crossovers don't really count). And then there's Old Friends With Indiscretions which I signed up for in the hopes that having a specific challenge would help me get over this problem I've built up in my head about writing Willow. The prompt I have for that is a good one, I think, and ideas are already swirling, it's just a matter of me getting over myself long enough to sit down and write it.

And finally, there's all my ongoing WIPs. Like I said before, I hate being the one who starts all these things and never finishes them. Destiny (for that is the one being reworked at the moment) will be completed soon - and radically re-written it has to be said. Crimson Regret will also be finished soon, and possibly re-written a little because the larger background story is now overshadowing the core dynamic I think - at least in my head. What a Difference a Day Makes, I wish I could say this would be finished soon but to be honest my muse for this one left the building a few months ago and hasn't been seen since. I'm trying to lure him back (yes, my muse is a he!)  but I don't know how successful I'll be with that! Slayerless... that one I think I'll leave on the back burner right now, at least until Buffy gets fed up with being in a coma and wakes up on her own! Off Course - oh I had such grand plans for this story, updates every week as a new episode of Lost aired in the UK, re-writing the episodes to incorporate Faith and Xander, watching them relate to the islanders. But... the truth of the matter is, our guys (Faith and Xander) wouldn't be as reactive as the survivors have been so far. They'd try their damndest to be proactive and by doing that they'd change the whole dynamic. So the episode re-write scheme is out the window right now, I'm in uncharted waters so far as this story is concerned, and I don't think it'll be as long as I originally thought it would. 'Cause lets face it - these two won't be happy with making a life on the island, they'll get off or die trying. Still, I have their back stories plotted out - the reasons they were on the plane, the reasons Robin isn't with Faith, the whole thing really - and I really want to tell those stories. So the story will not be abandoned at all - it just might not be what I originally said it would be...

'kay, I've now been typing this for far longer than I intended to. 'Bout time I looked around for something I can pretend to be doing for the rest of the day I guess!

ETA got the new Jamie Cullum album yesterday, and apart from the sometimes obvious heavy hand of a certain N.E.R.D., it's fantastic! thedothatgirl? There's at least one obvious fanvid song on this (maybe two because he does an incredible version of "I Only Have Eyes For You" as well)!
life begins - me

*will not get involved*

Watch out - LJ drama ahead...

My tuppence worth? RPF icks me out on levels I can't begin to explain (mostly because for the first round of WKA I stumbled over some Nick Brendon/Kelly Donovan incest-slash which made me want to bleach my brain and boil my eyeballs to get rid of the memory of quite how badly written it was, seriously - Nick apparently cannot get two words out without stuttering. Has the writer ever heard him speak at all? He no longer stutters to the extent where it's noticeable for crying out loud! (sorry - my own issues there, ignore that!)). I don't read it, I don't host it on the sites, I don't rec it. I'm just not interested in it at all.

Thing is though, other people do like it and that's fine with me - what's that quote that's always misquoted? "I do not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it?" To each their own I guess.

So why is leadensky now being abused for putting her opinions in her own journal? Yes, it's a public post, and yes su_herald has linked to it, but it's her journal and her right to express her opinions. She's not even saying that RPS is 'wrong' or should be banned - she's just saying she doesn't 'get' it. From scanning the responses so far, people are either agreeing with her or slamming her for daring to say she doesn't get it.

I guess some people just enjoy making dramas like this. Me? Che sera sera. Live and let live. *insert tired cliche here*
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