September 3rd, 2006

life begins - me

Hello darkness my old friend...

I knew the depression would be back, I knew it wasn't gone, that it was just a little better. Last night I spiralled way down again but I didn't hit rock bottom and, more importantly, I didn't stay there. I slept for nearly a full twelve hours last night. I was awake around five am but I went back to bed (after having a near heart attack when a bloody daddy-long-legs tried to dive bomb me) and am only just up now at ten to one in the afternoon. First time I've done that since I was a teenager (and not been sick).

Today I am headchey, I am still a little teary, but I am okay. I'm better.

I'm going to tackle the back bedroom today. monkey_matt said something the other day while I was showing him some Photoshop tricks, he said "Doesn't it make you want to get out your photography stuff again?" And yes, it absolutely does. I have a sensory-memory thing centred around developing fluid. I was never fantastic at it, but I could have been. When my dad got sick his darkroom got mostly packed away and after we moved around the country a few times (six or seven times in four years, plus I had three moves to Uni on top of that) the darkroom never got set up again.

The back bedroom has a blackout blind already fitted. It has the furniture, it has the electricity supply, the only thing it's missing is running water but it is right next to the bathroom so the water is close enough not to need that. All of the equipment is in boxes on top of a wardrobe. All I would need are the chemicals and the paper.

But the most important thing is this - I am better, really.

(and in the spirit of the post, I now finally have a photography icon - made using the same colouring as the Sam & Dean colouring tutorial I posted yesterday morning but with a slightly lighter beige on the 'mulitply' layer. Source image is from and I'm tempted to spend the day making stock image icons like this... Or watching the last two episodes of SPN...)