I was feeling really low on Friday, all through the day to be honest, and then in the evening I got caught in a self-deprecation loop. Everything anyone said to me became incredibly personal and I just retreated. It all kind of came to a head, and despite knowing that the best thing to do would be to sleep I didn't. I was online, I was chatting to people, I was speaking on the phone. I broke.
I'm better today, mostly because when I got up yesterday morning I decided to go for some retail therapy. Things are changing a little at work and I think it's time I started making a better impression in there. So no more ratty jeans and trainers, well, not every day anyway! I got a really cute blouse which I almost didn't get - it has flowers on it! Me? In something floral?! It's dark green with embroidery on it and is really cute, but still somehow me as well. Odd.
And I bought a dress.
I may take the dress back to the shop.
I've been having clothing dilemmas about what to wear to the Serenity premiere. It's being billed as a 'gala' premiere and I've never been to one of those before, and the thing is I have really cool evening wear (I actually have two dresses which are just gorgeous and that I've never had occassion to wear - one is white gold slink, the other is a black slip dress with a dark blue glitzy over-dress thing with a Mandarin collar) Both of them are ankle length and very glam. Too glam I think. I don't really have anything in between though - I have the over the top glam of those, and I have the clothes I plan to start wearing to work, and I have the ratty jeans and trainers. So I bought a dress which is a rich dark brown with lace detail all over it, knee-length, handkerchief hem. Really nice. But. I have excema on my legs which is ugly as hell. It's worse at the moment because it's kinda stress-related and as most of you know my stress levels are kinda high right now. So I wear trousers or really long skirts or (like today) just over the knee skirts with high boots to hide it. I have a pair of brown boots that I thought might work with the dress, but they don't. The colour's completely wrong (the boots are a lighter brown, almost an orange really and clash horribly with the dress) So I'm looking for clothing advice. Any suggestions? What does one wear to a 'gala premiere'?
Random topic switch, I always listen to Michael Parkinson's Sunday Supplement on Radio 2. It runs from 11 to 1 and despite his belief that Sinatra is the best talent ever (Matt Monroe is so a better singer!) Parky does a damn good show. Today he was talking about Lost, and despite his comments about possible Reality TV influences, he seems really hyped about it. And then he played a brand new song by Jamie Cullum. I love Jamie, he's got an amazing talent and he's a really funny genuine guy. I was worried that the third album would be weak, that it would pander to expectations. Going on this one song? It doesn't. It was incredible. Just wonderful stuff - I've never the song before but I was singing along to the radio, it was just wonderful. And then Parky followed it with a really good new singer called Amy Smith who has a song called 105 Feet High (or it might be 105 Feet Tall, it was a couple of hours ago I heard it) and then he played James Blunt. No Bravery. And said it was his current favourite song. Parky's at least in his 70s, he is a fan of jazz standards and the occaisional slightly odd seventies funk bands - for him to play three songs back to back which touched me so deeply? Made me smile, made my day. Even though No Bravery is a 'down' song, in that it's about James Blunt's experiences as a soldier in Kosovo, it's an angry song at the state of the world, but it's beautiful. And in it's own way it's uplifting.
And speaking of uplifting songs, thank you engelsteorra for ramming Willy Mason's 'Oxygen' into my eardrums. It's... incredible.
Okay - I'm rambling now, thank you all for your kindness on Friday, and thank you iyalode for making my day earlier! (I've been kinda doubting my writing lately, so to get a new review? You couldn't have timed it better!)