the girl who used to dance on fire and brimstone (whiskyinmind) wrote,
the girl who used to dance on fire and brimstone

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New fic - Twilight

Written on the train today - lyrics are Vanessa Carlton's

Author: Shona
Disclaimer: don't own them, never will. I'm just playing in a pretty big sandbox.
Spoilers: end of Chosen.

The last reminder of the previous seven years toppled unceremoniously into the rubble that stretched as far as the eye could see. It would be so easy to make the obvious metaphorical leap and connect the scene before her with the rubble of her life, but that was something she just wasn't prepared to do.

What she was looking at wasn't the end. It wasn't destruction; it was a new start. A place from which to build.

// I will never see the sky the same way again //

For years she had carried the weight of the world unwillingly on shoulders that always seemed too narrow to take the strain. She'd seen the world as little more than a burden she didn't want to bear.

The weight was gone now and she realised she couldn't actually put her finger on the moment it passed. The when and why and how it had happened didn't matter. What did was the fact that it had happened at all; now she saw the world through new eyes.

It was horribly beautiful.

// and I will learn to say goodbye to yesterday //

Seven years worth of memories. Eighty-four months of pain and joy. Two thousand, five hundred and fifty five days of recollections. Millions of moments. None of them should be forgotten, nor would they be. But it was time to let them go.

To say goodbye.

// and I will never cease to fly if held down //

Free. Such a small word and yet it made all the difference. Never had she felt truly free to do what she wanted - to be who she wanted. As she watched the dust begin to settle, she realised that for the first time she truly was free.

Whatever she wanted, all she had to do was spread her wings and make that jump. Nothing and no one could stop her.

// and I will always reach too high //

She'd seen the very best and the very worst this world had to offer. Uniquely perhaps, she had seen paradise and known the peace there.

For the longest time she'd resented that. If she couldn't have it she didn't want to know about it. And then she'd slowly seen the simple
beauty around her, the smiles of the people she loved. She'd basked in the knowledge that she was so loved. That was paradise and she would never stop reaching for it.

// because I've seen twilight //

She'd faced the darkness and stood strong. She had fought back and won. Through it all she had learned the simple truth - there can be no light without the dark.

She stood on the cusp; she was the twilight - that moment before day fell into night. But she wasn't alone.

She could sense the movement behind her, could feel them drawing close. Basking in the warmth of their love freely given and giving hers in return she listened to the question. "What now?"

That really was the ultimate question - what to do, where to go. She didn't know the answer but she knew it would come soon enough. For now all that mattered was the new day dawning around her. The night was finally surrendering to the day. Twilight would come soon enough.

She smiled.
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