the girl who used to dance on fire and brimstone (whiskyinmind) wrote,
the girl who used to dance on fire and brimstone

  • Mood:
I am actually not in as down a mood as that last post makes it sound by the way. I'm not deleting that because I'm trying this whole new approach of actually talking about what's going on in my head rather than bottling it up and turning into a crazy person. Oh wait...

Maybe it's the fact that it's Spring, maybe it's the fact that therapy is actually having an impact on me, maybe it's the fact that I'm in training and am actually starting to feel better about my physical self, but I want to make a change. A real, honest to goodness, change. Whether that's the bookshop, moving home, letting someone into my life or maybe even just getting that second tattoo. I am going to make a change.

Course, saying it and doing it are two completely different things really. :)

What I am going to do is take some time for me. I'm going to take a week off work (even though I only have four days annual leave left to do me until October - right now I don't care - and I'm going to pack up the car and drive somewhere. I don't know where, probably Sutherland because it is so beautiful up there, I'll take the dog with me (of course) and my books. And my laptop in case I get inspired to do anything creative. But it will all be for me. WKA voting ends this weekend and at the moment I am seeing it as a chore rather than something I want to do which is wrong. This is my 'hobby', this is what I do in my 'free time', I'm seeing it as an obligation, almost like a second job, and that has taken the fun out of it.

I need to find the fun again.

I'm not giving up on anything, I'm not abandoning anything at all, the WKA winners will be announced on time and the banners will be made, all the sites are staying right where they are, and the others I have in mind will no doubt be coming before too much longer. The stories I am writing and the artwork I'm planning (and the vids) will be continued as long as they still speak to me (and since they all constantly do, I doubt any of them will ever be completely shelved).

You probably won't even notice a change in anything I do, but hopefully the mood icons will start being on the happier side.
Tags: real life
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