So, lemme backtrack and start from the beginning. TARDIS lands in a cupboard (and lets get this week's gay agenda out of the way pre-credits, 'kay? They're in a closet. Get it? *sigh* (I had a discussion about the overriding theme this year with my sister, who hates the way I analyse TV shows by the way, she said (with no input from me) "Torchwood isn't the overriding theme - it's a red herring." However, she's of the opinion that the gay agenda is the theme this year. She's just not sure how it's going to play out. Is that why the Doctor/Rose ship feels like it's trying too hard, is the Doctor gay? No, he's not, he's a celibate omnisexual Timelord, but nice theory!)
Anyway, I got sidetracked there - sorry. So they're somewhere out with the TARDIS' knowledge and the TARDIS is feeling a bit seasick, the Doctor and Rose think it's all a bit of a laugh and instead of getting back into the TARDIS and getting out of there (which would have admittedly been a very short and dull episode) they laugh it off and head off for high jinks.
In case you somehow managed to miss all the other references throughout the episode as to what's actually going on, there's some ancient writing on the wall that - shock horror - no one, not even the Doctor/TARDIS combo can translate and right above it, some scamp has spray-painted "Welcome to hell". It would have been less obvious if they'd gone for the "Abandon all hope.." angle, but that would have gone over he kiddies' heads wouldn't it, and this is a kiddie show allegedly. They encounter some suspiciously Quarren-like aliens (seriously, there was a whole Star Wars vibe going on through this that I've not seen anyone else pick up on) and there's a hilarious communication problem. No really, it was so hilarious I nearly laughed.
After the credits the actual people come in and rescue them from future New Republic President Pwoe (sorry, wrong fandom, dammit!) and everyone seems kinda shocked that actual real people have somehow gotten aboard this space station - but hey, it doesn't matter because ten seconds later the miners/security team/random red shirts are running along corridors and taking the newcomers/stowaways to the control centre. Yeah, you read that right, two people suddenly appear with no explanation on - what we'll find out in a minute - is a planetary base which there is no way of infiltrating, and they get a guided tour directly to the nerve centre. *sigh*
So, Earthquake/Storm thing and we get a handy little roll call introducing us to the red-shirts-with-names who'll probably make it to at least the end of this episode, but'll probably die in the next. :) Turns out they're on a 'sanctuary base' studying a planet which shouldn't exist, what with the whole stable orbit around a black hole thing that in no way resembles the Maw and the Kessel system, because that would be from another fandom... (Can you tell I read this episode from a Star Wars POV?) So planet shouldn't exist, something in the planet is creating a gravity wave/cone/funnel/something-that-stops-it-b
This gives the Doctor the chance to do his "stupid ape" moment, but it's okay, because he loves humans really. (When he asked it he could hug the captain? I was in stitches!)
But here's the big question from the cast intro/plot exposition scene - lovers or family? I read the relationship as mother/daughter but the vast majority of people seem to be reading them as lovers. If it is the latter, I'm disappointed in DW because it means they went down the dead lesbian cliche route... So, what do you think?
One of the random blokes (who turns out not to be so random) and who I have to keep reminding myself at this point in the episode not to call him Daniel ('cause he is the Daniel Jackson of the episode - even if that is throwing yet another fandom into the loop) wanders off to check something (I forget what, I should watch it again to find out why they sent the linguist away really shouldn't I?) and starts hearing voices. And this is when I stop calling him Daniel and instead start calling him Gantoris. 'Cause that's exactly where they lifted his character from, no really. Gantoris gets creeped out 'cause someone's talking to him and then he shrugs it off and heads back to the control room with whatever it was they sent him off to get.
Back in the control room there's more exposition going on and the Doctor actually looks bored stiff at one point. Maybe he's just annoyed someone else knows what's going on for once. Then comes the shocking news - the earthquake (which is why they all had to run to the control room by the way, I didn't mention that did I?) has blocked off some of the access routes ('cause they actually collapsed) and oh noes! The TARDIS is lost! I'm actually quite pleased with the reaction to this, so much better than the 'ah well, what's next?' reaction we got in RotC. And even though you know they'll find a way to get it back again, there is still a sense of real loss here.
More messing about with the actual work of the mine - including some shots of some
So it's apparently break time and all the mining is being done by the Oood anyway so everyone gathers in the common room to watch a galaxy die. Kind of dramatic, watching planets die and all that, very emo. And this is the start of the mortgage bit that has the chippers squeeing. They've just watched the death of civilisations, seen an entire system destroyed before them, they have no way out of there and Rose wants to get a joint mortgage. Sorry honey, bad timing for one and for another? His face... So not happening and you are going to get your heart broken before you realise it. When he takes you home, if he takes you home, look up Sarah Jane - you and she really need to finish that talk.
There was a very "The Prom" feel to this - "you want a normal life and I can't give you it. Feel the emo." Rose sees the potential in them being trapped together as a good thing and he despairs. Very different from the guy who was almost looking forward to taking the 'slow path' with Reinette. Rose clearly loves the Doctor and, while he cares deeply for her, he knows it won't ever work. So I think it may be a buh-bye to Billie soon. Which... I won't be too upset about because at least then the 'ship' won't be dominating the show in the way it has lately.
Rose gets a call on her phone - which she just told us two seconds before was out of range and since I'm guessing not many people have that number who did she think it was going to be? Mickey? - and it's creepy voice dude who'd been taunting
Oh noes! Hull breach - everyone runs through the corridor(s) again and miraculously there's
Scooti's cool watch/communicator thingy is apparently in the mess hall only it's not really, cause it's on her wrist still and she's outside the mess hall knocking on the window saying "let me in, it's bloody cold out here!" or something. Apparently this was a really expensive shot and everyone was dead pleased with it (no pun intended) but I just kept thinking she was about to fall out of her top. (and hey, have you noticed the image is reversed? Wonder why they did that? (no, seriously, I wonder why they did it, was it an aesthetic thing to have her arm framed by the black hole like that?)
But then everything happens at once, the drilling thingy reaches point zero and for some reason it's the Doctor who gets to go down with Ida and Rose is given a communicationy thing so that she can clog up the airwaves with it. The
and the tats transfer themselves into the Oood, because they're evil tats you see, only they kinda get absorbed into the Oood because those prosthetics are too well made to ruin them with bad biro'ed on tattoos So their eyes get all glowy instead.
They kill one of the red shirts with the translatory globe thingy and are advancing on Rose, the security chief, the other red shirt and the now clueless and tattooless
Meanwhile the Doctor and Ida are down in the centre of the planet where there's an oddly suspicious looking Seal of Danthazar. Only without the pentagram and goat's head. And bigger.
I did love this episode a lot, it was cheesy, it was a little predictable, it took a little something from all of my fandoms and melded it all together into one.
So yeah, I'm off to watch the Lost finale now (I know, I'm really behind on it!) and then I'll rewatch Impossible Planet again. This is definitely up there with my favourites though.