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13 August 2006 @ 09:27 am

is procrastination like a virus or something? After being insanely stressed out yesterday over Dram I suddenly realised I needed to post icons this weekend or forfeit the claim. Quickly made nine I like and then... faltered at the end and threw one together just to round out the numbers. I now completely hate doing that, makes me feel dirty. So from now on the only things I'm posting are things I am as happy with as I can be. And the fic I started writing on Friday? Has faltered again. I say again because it's one of my never-ending WIPs that's been faltering forever. And now I want to make Ultraviolet icons. Or maybe Neverwhere ones. (Ultraviolet the TV series, not the film) and I have no idea where that urge is coming from!

What it's meant is that although I was focused for a little while, now... I'm not. At all. It's like an illness really.

I want to be doing all of these and more:
Final Straw 3
Half Light
T&C Icons
Ultraviolet Icons
Neverwhere Icons
Dark!Xander fic
Post-Doomsday Rose fic (the thing I said I was kinda twisted for wanting to see? It's chowing down on a part of my brain and the only way I know how to stop that is to write the damn thing myself.)
Tales of a Morrocan Knight... (yeah, not abandoned even though it's now... eight months late?)
Walk Away (rewritten with less of the autobiographical text (not even subtext, that was pure text))
Crimson Regret
Close Encounters...
DW Wallpaper
pointless nostalgic rework

and since I have so many things I want to be doing, none of them are getting done. *flails*

random pimp - voting for challenge 2 round 1 is up at doctorwholims

ETA Meant to post this last night. After I left Dram at the vet's yesterday I was in tears and really quite worried. So I went to Sis's house (also had to tell her there was no way I could help her out looking after the kids at the fun day that she'd assumed I was going to do for her). She opens the door and I'm trying hard not to sob, she brings me into the house and gets me to sit down on the couch. I become aware of all three kids watching me and looking really worried. I explain to them that Drammy's not very well and he's in hospital now. I'm worried about him." Eventually eldest nephew comes to give me a cuddle and stays on my lap with his arms round my neck for ages. Niece comes up as well but since there's no room on my lap any more she cuddles my leg instead. And last night Sis phoned to see what was what and nephew decided he wanted to take to me. First thing he said was "Is Drammy all better now?" and then after he handed the phone back to his mum he decided to give Dram some medicine over the phone - apparently he went and got an empty teaspoon and 'poured' it into the phone. Part of me feels awful at letting the kids see me in that state, but the biggest part of me loves my little scarecrows. :) </infatuated Auntie mode>

Current Mood: frustratedfrustrated
Current Music: Guillemots - Trains to Brazil
draconindraconin on August 13th, 2006 12:01 pm (UTC)
I seem to remember that someone told me once that having therapy sometimes produces lethargy as a side effect in the early stages. The process of emotional challenges is exhausting to the mind and it reacts by telling you that you're too tired to do anything. I don't know if that's true or they were just pulling my leg.
the girl who used to dance on fire and brimstone: annie hall//forgot my mantra - mewhiskyinmind on August 13th, 2006 03:20 pm (UTC)
I can quite believe it, I know I had to ask for my appointments to be moved to late afternoon because after each one I was so wiped out that I had to take the rest of hte day off work. So for that lethargy to carry over into the following days would make sense. I'd never noticed the correlation before, something to think about anyway.
velvetwhipvelvetwhip on August 13th, 2006 03:23 pm (UTC)
That is so sweet that your niece and nephews were so kind and caring!

the girl who used to dance on fire and brimstonewhiskyinmind on August 13th, 2006 05:01 pm (UTC)
They're just the best! (Unless you're trying to brush Niece's hair or telling Nephew #1 he can't have the Power Rangers toy... *g*)
velvetwhipvelvetwhip on August 13th, 2006 05:10 pm (UTC)
Well, no one is perfect.