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06 August 2007 @ 10:22 am
It's a little ridiculous how much I've missed being online this weekend. Even with my impromptu plea for Harry Potter info on Saturday (punctuated by my nephew - sweetest kid in the world!). I miss you guys - really!

So I kinda thought, maybe being offline this weekend would give me the chance to... do something different? Maybe get in some practice on the guitar - y'know, earn these callouses on my fingers by being able to play something vaguely recognisable, but instead I watched Spaced. Again.

I love that show. Majorly.

When I don't think "there but for the grace..." about Simon Pegg, I think it about Jess Stevenson (or whatever her married name is). Seriously, I'm ages with those two (West Coast of Scotland saying meaning "the same age as") , I have the same (worthless) degree as Simon, I can outgeek Jess (probably not Simon though...) and yet I'm working in a library. *sigh*.

I don't begrudge them at all, the only I would thing say is that there should be a third season of Spaced and Hot Fuzz really needs to come down in price soon so's I can see it. (pleads poverty in a Lindsey-esque manner).

My car is apparently fixed. Running on four cylinders rather than the six it's meant to, and with a new power steering unit. Of course, I say "apparently" because it's still at the garage since I can't actually pay for it...

I went grocery shopping today and it was as if I had advance warning of the 4 minute warning (which, I've mentioned before on this journal overwhelms me that some of you don't get the significance of that!) since I stocked up on tinned foods and all the things that will get me through the month. I'm going to call the garage in the morning (Monday - since I'm writing this on Sunday night even though I can't post it...) to find out what the damage is and whether - to be frank - I can afford to get my car out of the garage or not. I filled my sister's car with petrol today. She needs to claim it back this week sometime (meaning I need to get the train) so that she can buy a school uniform for my nephew. He starts school in... it'll be 9 days now. I remember the day she told me she was pregnant with him. We were on holiday. My sister, my BiL, me and Dram. We rented a cottage just outside of Callender for the Christmas holidays. She gave me a card that said "Merry Christmas Auntie". I cried that night. She'd had problems conceiving. There were physiological issues that interfered with the natural process and had been told she would be exceptionally lucky to 1) conceive; and 2) carry a baby to term. I had given them (sis and BiL) a rucksack of my belongings to take with them whilst I took Dram on the train to the holiday cottage. The first night (24th Dec.) I unpacked my rucksack and found the envelope with the Christmas card in it. I remember being angry that she had opened my rucksack. And then I saw the "auntie" on the card and I don't think I stopped crying for that whole night.

My mum would have loved being a grandma. But she never knew.

Four kids later, and don't get me wrong I love my nephews and neices, I think my mum would have said the same thing I'm saying. "Knock some sense into yersel'" My sister is not pregnant again. My BiL is having a consultation to have the snip this month, my sister sounds disappointed. She has four children. The eldest turns five this month. She had a 'mistiming' that led her to think she might be pregnant again, and she's actually disappointed that she's not.

My youngest nephew - who I adore beyond all reason (seriously, this boy is me in replica) - is being sorely neglected because he's at the stage where he's *just* walking but not quite talking, and yet... there's a new baby there who's demanding all the attention so M (Yeah, Sis, I'm giving out his initial, bite me) has to shout and act out and throw his head back against visitors to get attention. He gets it from me, seriously, M is a smart cookie. He understands everything that's said to him, he knows *exactly* how to get what he wants, but he's being overlooked.

My sister is a good mother, when I say 'neglect' I don't mean it in a way that would cause concern. She does not neglect her children, she gives them every single emotional, phyiscal and environmental thing they need/want/desire. But... M feels it. I know he does. I can see it in his face, I can tell from the way in which I was reading to him on Saturday and he was 'talking' to me in normal tones rather than shouting. The words aren't quite there, but the sentiment is. When he's with his brother and sisters he shouts to be heard, when he's with me he talks.

I wish I could be there more, there are times when I feel like the second parent. Goodness knows I don't get on with my BiL. He's the cause of the longest estrangement I've had with my sister in the... time I've been alive. But... I do genuinly feel like I'm more of a parent to those kids than he is a father. That's a horrid thing to say, I know that, and I wish I felt more guilty about saying it than I do, but the fact of the matter is, when my eldest nephew asked if would 'die' from his MMR, it was his Auntie Sho he asked, not his Daddy.

Wow, this got more maudlin than I meant it to. Um...


(which will only be slightly funny if you're UK/European because otherwise you'll just wonder why I'm talking about trousers...)

So yeah, I'm saving this to my new shiny 2GB pen-drive (bought after my siser "washed" my old one in November last year and then wondered why it wasn't working so well any more...) and will post this (no matter what) on Monday.


(is anxious about all the drabbles/ficlets she posted on Friday, is not in any way obsessing over people either 1) hating them, or; 2) ignoring them completely)

And today's post! I have an appointment to speak to a financial advisor at lunch today, so of course I managed to sleep in and pulled on the first clothes I could lay my hands on. So I'm going to go talk to this guy about how I need to restructure my debts and I'm wearing washed out jeans, boots and a navy hoodie. Yeah... that makes a great impression really! I'm also absolutely knackered, have really dark rings under my eyes and since I'm now brunette again (dyed it yesterday) they're all the more obvious. This guy is going to take one look at me and say "yeah right..." and show me the door. I would!

You guys rock by the way - thank you so much for coming through so quickly for me on Saturday! (Sis is online, but it's dial up and on the slowest computer in the world, so I got to check about an hour after I made the phone post - thank you all again!)

I feel like I want to write again today but am kinda drawing a blank on what to do. I have the 'Terminal Cindy' idea that frogfarm gave me in my head, and the Alec & Ben* idea that x5vale inspired on Friday, plus I have the fic_variations prompts for August to do, but... none of it's really inspiring me today. Too many other things on my mind I guess!

Anyways... I should go do some actual work or... maybe I could catch up on the ol' flist whilst I'm online? *g*

* that's Alec and Ben, not Alec/Ben, because that would just hurt my brain...
Current Mood: lazylazy
Babies ate my dingo.derryderrydown on August 6th, 2007 09:31 am (UTC)
I think the 'Duck and cover' stuff was shown in Scotland long after they stopped showing it in England. Because I was living in Glasgow 1983-86 and we were definitely shown those films at school, but nobody seems to remember them being shown in England at that point.

Still, at least we'll know what to do in event of a nuclear strike. *nods* I'll crawl under my desk and be absolutely fine because desks are all-powerful.
the girl who used to dance on fire and brimstone: annie hall//forgot my mantra - mewhiskyinmind on August 6th, 2007 09:47 am (UTC)
My dad worked at Faslane submarine base, so we had the whole thing drummed into us constantly from the time I was in Primary School until we left the area when my dad retired (I was 17 at the time).

There definitely were the whole 'duck and cover' TV shows on, but I still remember more than one of my teachers laughing at them and telling us that in reality the best thing we could do was to get as close to Faslane and/or Coulport (sub refit station further round the Gare Loch) as possible so that we'd be in the first wave and wouldn't know what hit us.

Yeah... it was a little bit of a scary time to be growing up in the 80s!
Babies ate my dingo.derryderrydown on August 6th, 2007 10:07 am (UTC)
I thoroughly bought into the whole thing - and then I picked up Raymond Briggs' When The Wind Blows, thinking it would be nice like The Snowman.

Yeah. Right.

I had nightmares for a month and my mother kicked up such a fuss about that book being in the kids' section!
the girl who used to dance on fire and brimstone: annie hall//forgot my mantra - mewhiskyinmind on August 6th, 2007 10:10 am (UTC)
Oh! I absolutely adore that film! It makes me weep from the moment it starts right until the last shot.

It's weird to think that there were all these shock tactic type films/shows/ad campaigns in the 80s but there's nothing like them now. Not for the same thing, than god we're not living with the constant 4 minute warning threat any more, but there are other public health issues that one would expect to be treated in the same way.

Mind you, our generation is a li'l bit fucked up really so maybe it's just as well that there isn't an equivalent for the younger generations!
x5valex5vale on August 6th, 2007 09:35 am (UTC)
Hopefully you can work on your fics, but most important get all the stuff you're going through fixed soon.*

the girl who used to dance on fire and brimstone: asylum//j&j/no innuendos - mewhiskyinmind on August 6th, 2007 09:49 am (UTC)
Up until quite recently I had a habit of trying to ignore problems and hoping they'd go away, I think that's why I've ended up in such a mess right now. But it could be a lot worse, I'm doing something about it and hopefully I can get on the road to sorting it when I speak to the advisor today. He's independent and he's been recommended to me by other people who've used him and found him really helpful. Now all I have to do is try to find his office!

x5valex5vale on August 6th, 2007 01:50 pm (UTC)
Good luck!
Annemiek: I solemny swear I am up to no goodannemiek81 on August 6th, 2007 10:03 am (UTC)
YAY for Alec & Ben coz I love them! :)

I hope you are doing ok! I get what you mean with your youngest nephew. I was an AuPair in the USA last year and have been one in England 5 years ago...one family had 3 kids, the other 4 but both of the families should've never had so many kids. Some people just dont realize that it's the kids who will suffer. Not that those kids arent having great lives....you know what I mean I think..

anyways, last year in the USA the 'middle' kid (if thats possible in a family of 4 kids) hardly got any attention and she got very close to me and when I was alone with her she was so different than when she was with her brother & sisters or parents. 2 months before I left she started to ask me every time that I went out 'annemiek, you are coming back right?' it broke my heart. but im going to see her in 3 weeks!!! :)

Ok, this got long and random!
Have an awesome day!
the girl who used to dance on fire and brimstone: da//alec/naughty thoughts - sinister_morwhiskyinmind on August 6th, 2007 10:16 am (UTC)
My eldest nephew and neice are really close with each other and pretty much do everthing together. Youngest nephew desperately wants to be included all the time but they just ignore him. It's such a shame for him! And they take things off him all the time - if he's playing with something they (especially my neice) will just take it out of his hands. He's learning though, and his speech is coming along (bizarrely enough one of the words he can say clearly is Dalek!) so it should only be a matter of time.

Of course when the eldest boy starts school the whole dynamic will change again and that'll be quite something to see!
acrazywench: mara_shoacrazywench on August 6th, 2007 10:14 am (UTC)
Good luck for this afternoon. Financial advisor shouldn't judge you by the clothes you wear - and if he did, he should be more concerned if you turned up in a very fine outfit full of labels because that might suggest a spending problem which could undermine his advice. It might be worth revisiting your neighbour's plan though and maybe discussing it with the blokey this afternoon.

Ah the four minute warning - If I'm out in the open, let me find a nice bridge to hide under, that will keep me safe! I think the best bit of official advice (which I think I heard secondhand so is probably garbled, misinterpreted and untrue, but still fun!) was the bit which encouraged self-burying bodies; something along the lines of: in the event of nuclear war, quickly dig a hole in your back garden to provide a shelter, then wrap yourself up in bin bags and hide in the hole.
the girl who used to dance on fire and brimstone: annie hall//forgot my mantra - mewhiskyinmind on August 6th, 2007 10:20 am (UTC)
I'm hoping that since my mortgage on my house is actually only for 50% of the value in 2002 then he can help me release some of that equity and clear off the other debts. That way my mortgage will go up but I won't have the credit cards or anything (which I've just worked out how much they come to and it's not as scary as I thought it was. Still scary, but...)

I keep getting the memories of the whole 4 minute warning mixed up with things like "When the Wind Blows" and the poem "Your attention please..." so it really doesn't surprise me that the self-burying body advice would have been out there! Because a hole and some black bags are going to stop the fallout, no really... *grins*
Cat: sleepdeprivationaditu_az on August 6th, 2007 11:09 am (UTC)
lovely to see you online again....
this is going to be erally incomprehensible because i've just woken up after sleeping 5 hours in my bed, which was the first time i'd visitted my bed in the last couple of days or so.. my laptop screen is usually very good at not giving me a headache, but i supose an entire weekend of exposure was a bit too much to ask!
missed you this weekend, and tomorrow i'm gonna start the missing a whole load more..
anyway, gonna dash, i believe i saw something about Jeff stalking you somewhere on my flist....
the girl who used to dance on fire and brimstone: dw//this icon likes bananas - martoufmarwhiskyinmind on August 6th, 2007 11:15 am (UTC)
*huggles you*

but you'll get to swim in the Med so...

Yeah, okay, two days without t'internet nearly broke me this weekend so I have no clue how you're going to cope for so long! *hugs*
Cataditu_az on August 6th, 2007 11:22 am (UTC)
my current strategy is to wander the city (preferably at night coz if the heat doesn't kill me it will my laptop) with my laptop open searching for unsecured wifi....
*has a constant internal wail*
Boo: best buddiesdolly_drops on August 6th, 2007 11:29 am (UTC)
Maybe I don't entirely understand your nephew's(and your's) situations, especially seeing how i'm not an auntie yet(and hopefully not for another 10 years at least!) but, being the oldest cousin in Scotland(I only have one big cousin, he lives in Australia, and my 3 other younger cousins all live there too-of which i've never met two.) i've noticed how my cousins have grouped together, especially when we were younger! My younger brothers always played together, and my cousin Amy stuck with me(even though there's a 5 year age diff!), then my youngest cousins Aoife and Fee were inseperable, it was Michael i always felt for, and i still do. He never fit in, was too "uncool", too "clever", too "boring", and it broke my heart to see the other cousins tease him. I always scolded my other cousins when things got too nasty but there wasn't really anything i could ever do, i've never had anything in common with him! But things are better now, he hangs out with my younger brothers(espesh Liam, he idolizes him completely lol) and my cousin Amy's determined to see him fit in at high school when he starts after the summer so we're all good!...Sorry, i kinda rambled faaaaaaaaaaaaar too much there!!! I bet you were sitting there thinking "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORING!" but anyways.
I bet you're the best auntie a kid could ask for!!!

Hope the meeting went well hun, i've got my fingers etc crossed for you!

*squishy hugs*
the girl who used to dance on fire and brimstone: annie hall//forgot my mantra - mewhiskyinmind on August 6th, 2007 01:41 pm (UTC)
I think it's always the case in slightly larger families - one child will always be overlooked by the rest.

And feel free to ramble away - you're not boring in the least!
Oh Castiel!: Alecsmeckles90 on August 6th, 2007 11:29 am (UTC)
Totally know what you mean about missing being online. When my computer has a hissy fit (as it is wont to do on several occasions), its awful not being able to get onto LJ. I don't know what to do with myself...which I realise may be a little sad...

I hope your nephew is okay. That must be hard for him.

I worked with financial advisers all summer and they're not a bad lot really. I've found showing a liking in tea/coffee gets a long way with them :P hope you get on okay, and woot for being a brunette again!

YAY Alec and Ben! Oh I heart them so much!
the girl who used to dance on fire and brimstone: da//ben & the Lady - unfamiliargirlwhiskyinmind on August 6th, 2007 01:44 pm (UTC)
The whole thing's still not sorted out (and isn't likely to be for a while yet) so I'm not going to be able to be online unless I'm at work for ages. It's killing me!

I'm thinking that once his big brother starts school the whole dynamic should change a little so maybe it'll be the best thing for the younger boy?
(Deleted comment)
the girl who used to dance on fire and brimstone: life online - see comment for creditwhiskyinmind on August 6th, 2007 03:27 pm (UTC)
Virgin have cancelled my broadband account because they couldn't take payment from my old bank account. I had tried (and thought I'd succeeded) to change the details to my new bank account but they didn't update my account info. I was given a premium rate phone number to call during office hours to get it cleared up but my work blocks 090 numbers so I couldn't make it. Sis said she would do it for me and then... conveniently forgot. So I don't have service, but I also haven't paid for it because they've been trying to take the money from a non-existant account.
(Deleted comment)
the girl who used to dance on fire and brimstone: Pratchett//redo from start - wildecatewhiskyinmind on August 6th, 2007 03:45 pm (UTC)
Daft thing is that a couple of weeks ago I had a woman from Talk Talk at the door asking about what service I was on and whether I would consider moving at some point.

I think since Virgin cancelled my account I'll still need to get in touch with them to get a MAC code, won't I?

That's a pretty decent deal actually - the 1GB daytime cap is actually a pretty decent limit as it is, and then with unlimited over night on top of that? Hmmm
Laura: spaced - tim and daisydimlondeiel on August 6th, 2007 08:02 pm (UTC)
TalkTalk doesn't have a great reputation within the mobile industry (it's run by Carphone). It may have improved over the last year or however long they've had it up and running now, but I remember people coming in going "WTF isn't my Talk Talk working" (which was lovely considering we didn't sell them it *g*).
the girl who used to dance on fire and brimstone: life online - see comment for creditwhiskyinmind on August 7th, 2007 07:34 am (UTC)
Ah dontcha just love customer service? *grins*

Talk Talk were always the ones that seemed to hit the headlines, with their free offers that noone could get to work and all the rest of it, right? I probably wouldn't go with them to be honest. I am kinda tempted by the current offer that PC world are doing on the free laptop if you sign up for Orange broadband for 12 months - although I was with them before and they weren't the best. (Better than Virgin though!)
Lauradimlondeiel on August 7th, 2007 11:59 am (UTC)
Yeah that was them. The laptop offer sounds really good, though part of me wonders why they would need to give away a laptop in order to entice people onto their broadband package.
Laura: spaced - tim and daisydimlondeiel on August 6th, 2007 07:57 pm (UTC)
I love Spaced, and I've been going through a watch-Pegg-Wright collaboration things recently, but I don't think I'd want a third series. Part of me would worry that it'd spoil it, and I love it too much for that. A one-off special would be nice, just to see how life turned out for Tim and Daisy and their crazy group. And you really need to get Hot Fuzz when you can, it's amaaazing.
the girl who used to dance on fire and brimstone: spn//dean for the win - seewhoiamwhiskyinmind on August 7th, 2007 07:32 am (UTC)
Spaced FTW!