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22 August 2007 @ 08:24 am
I'm sorry Denise...  
So in the comments to my last (friends locked) post, there was mention of a crossover story which I was involved in after drinking far too much. I would like it to be known that this is not my story, it's smileawhile's, and one day we'll get it finished. It was previously posted to the BBBFic list. I typed it up for Denise and beta read it with one of the worst hangovers of my life so all spelling/grammar errors are mine. The story however, is all Denise's.

Because people seemed interested in the comments about it, and because I never did get around to archiving it properly at the time, I'm presenting it here...

Anas of the Day
Author: Smileawhile
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: All characters belong to their respective owners, none of which are me.
Authors Notes: Helped out by Shona (I'm sorry, really I am – but it's funny! Sho xx)



"So, you sure your mom doesn't mind us all being here?"
Buffy turned and smiled, "Of course not Will. Didn't she tell you to make yourself at home any time? And anyway, what she doesn't know can't hurt her."
The redhead paled visibly, "She… she doesn't know? Maybe we shouldn't be here then, I mean it's not like any of us have ever had a dinner party before, you don't want her to come home and find something that looks like a hurricane's passed through her kitchen do you? Maybe… maybe we could do this at the dorm? Or at Xander's? No, scratch that – what about Giles' place? That would be good – after all he doesn't have to worry about asking anyone for permission and… maybe if we did this at his place we could leave him with the clean up…" Willow trailed off as she saw the hint of mischief on her friend's face, "And he's behind me isn't he?" She turned with a bright smile on her face. "Hey Giles! Want a cup of tea?"
"Will I be left with the clean up if I say yes?" The look he was giving her was just short of being a glare but Willow managed to ignore it – something she was getting better at it these days.
Instead she smiled and moved to switch on the kettle.
"Great googly-moogly Buffy! No offence but your new boyfriend is dull! He gives cardboard cut-outs a bad name!" All three turned to see Xander make his entrance into the kitchen.
"He's not that bad, Xan." Buffy leaned back against the countertop feeling an irrational urge to prove Riley was better than cardboard but no obvious defence was coming to mind. Eventually she gave up. "Okay, so maybe he's not the best conversationalist in the world but does that really justify leaving him to the tender mercies of Anya?"
"Hey! That's my girl you're talking about there, okay she's always doing stupid things but…" He paused to think for a second, and then shrugged. "Nah, they deserve each other. So, can I help?"
Buffy didn't answer with words; instead she thrust a handful of carrots at him along with a knife. "Yeah, you can chop these up. Willow," the blonde turned to face her friend, "Take these cloves and stick them in the ham. Giles you can…" She looked around, flustered for a second, and then spotted the washing up next to the sink, "You can clean those glasses. Please?" She put on her best innocent smile as she blinked up at her Watcher.

Suddenly the kitchen was filled with an eerie lightshow and Buffy had the oddest impression that she was being stretched out and shrunk all at the same time and then suddenly she wasn't in her mother's kitchen anymore. She looked around warily; Willow, Giles and Xander were still in the positions and she smirked as she saw
Xander was still clutching the carrots she'd given him.

The kitchen units were gone and in their place were weird candle sconces and damp stone walls. If she didn't know any better she'd say they were in a castle dungeon, but that was just silly.

Wasn't it?




The vampire stepped out of his coffin; something wasn't right here. He shouldn't be here, this wasn't the right place, he should be on the Bocca del Infierno but the air here was the same as the air he hadn't been breathing all his un-life; since he'd been brought back. He whirled around, the long black cloak swirling around him. Eventually he raised his voice in an eldritch screech, "Igor?"




"Oh-kay…" Willow looked around, mild panic written all over her face. "What just happened?"
Buffy was still dazed and just shook her head, still trying to contemplate her surroundings. Giles stepped in to save the day, "Well, clearly we've been caught in some kind of time-space continuum irregularity. We could realistically be anywhere and at anytime."
"Well, if Seven Of Nine walks through that door right now then I know we're in heaven. Ow!" That last comment was aimed at Buffy as she clipped Xander over the head.
"Be serious for a minute Xander!"
"Hey, I am being serious. C'mon the presence of Seven Of Nine would indicate as certain pearly gate vicinity. Or possibly even Major Kira in the alternate universe thing where she's the dominatrix Intendant? I could live with that." Seeing the blank looks on the faces of both Giles and Buffy he turned to the one person he knew
would understand where he was coming from. "C'mon Willow, back me up here!"
She nodded, albeit in a distracted fashion, "Yes, I can definitely see the heavenly comparison with Kira. Especially in that black leather outfit…" She tailed off as she realised everyone was looking at her with curious expressions on their faces. "What? She looks good in that outfit, with the leather and the boots…shutting up now…"
"Yuh-huh?" Buffy looked a little non-plussed by the exchange – she'd never seen DS9 anyway. "So where are we Giles?" She continued, "If some time-space thingy happened then how do we reverse it?"
"As I said, I'm not sure and I don't know" Recently the Watcher had started not-answering her questions like this more and more. It was beginning to annoy her greatly. He continued oblivious to her glare. "I suggest we focus our attention on ascertaining our location." The blank looks turned in his direction and he sighed heavily, "Find out where we are. Perhaps it would be quicker if we were to separate, that way we can cover more ground."
"Solid plan, G-Man, we're unexpectedly transported to God knows where, and lets just take a moment to appreciate the dungeon-like properties here, and the first thing you want us to do is split up? Have you even *seen* a horror film?"
The Englishman sighed again, "So do you have a better suggestion then?"
"Yeah, how `bout we stay together?"
Giles glared at him but before he could say anything more, an unearthly screech echoed around the door and they all bolted for the door.
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monkey_matt: ping - monkey_mattmonkey_matt on August 22nd, 2007 09:19 am (UTC)
You're mental you are.

I'm assuming you had a plan to involve lots of tomato sauce. And fainting. And the nursey-chicken thing that I can't remember the name of, but who would probably have fallen in love with Giles...
the girl who used to dance on fire and brimstone: xander//happy place - emeraldswanwhiskyinmind on August 22nd, 2007 09:35 am (UTC)
I'm holding my hands up and claiming no knowledge of future events.

(although there may have been talk of tomato ketchup sandwiches and a recognition between Giles and Nanny...)
monkey_matt: Beer - monkey_mattmonkey_matt on August 22nd, 2007 10:43 am (UTC)
Beer = teh evol?
(Deleted comment)
the girl who used to dance on fire and brimstone: xander//happy place - emeraldswanwhiskyinmind on August 24th, 2007 02:27 pm (UTC)
If I remember right, there was a whole plan for what to do with the carrots...

Alcohol and children's cartoons should never be allowed to mix.