?

Log in

No account? Create an account
 
 
14 September 2007 @ 07:56 pm
yeah...  
I love you guys, really. I had a bad day and I got so many emails and texts (and people sneaking up behind me in the train station) to check I was coping that it just makes me wish I was a better person and actually deserved you as friends.

I'm... not okay. But I'm not *not* okay either.

It's not my to-do-list that's screwing me up right now. Honestly I'm the kind of person who prefers being busy when everything else falls apart. Which is possibly why everything falls apart but right now I won't think about that because if I do I might not want to get up tomorrow morning.

When I said I didn't know how to tell people that I had to let them down... if you've got an email from me today then that is what I was talking about. If you haven't got an email from me today then it's nothing you've done or I've done/not done that's the issue.

I feel terrible because there are those of you who are having as tough, if not a tougher, time than I am right now and I feel like I'm blanking you. But right now I kinda feel like I have to focus on me. That doesn't mean I don't love you, or that I don't completely want you to think that I'm here for you. But... right now I have to be here for me.

I'm sorry.

Things that are promised will be done this weekend. I swear.

Other than that, I might not be here for a while, or (knowing me) I might be here but flippant.

But I will be okay. Eventually.
Tags:
 
 
Current Mood: lovedloved
 
 
 
Ash: Dean (wish)purplephoenix03 on September 14th, 2007 07:25 pm (UTC)
Sho, just know that friendship (in most cases) is entirely unconditional. We're here through the good and the bad, your instant support network as and when you need it. Take all the time you need to make things right with you first. Everyone else is secondary. And during that time if you need anything from your friends, all you have to do is holler. Because that's what friends do. I wish I lived closer or could do something to make things easier for you right now, but just know you're in my heart and my thoughts and I hope you figure everything out soon. Much love.
the girl who used to dance on fire and brimstone: xander/willow //kiss (The Body) - mewhiskyinmind on September 14th, 2007 07:43 pm (UTC)
*hugs*

I can't make the words say what I want to. Thank you.
Ash: Tennis lovepurplephoenix03 on September 14th, 2007 07:52 pm (UTC)
*hugs* that's ok. Words are evil like that sometime :)
(Deleted comment)
the girl who used to dance on fire and brimstone: xander/willow //kiss (The Body) - mewhiskyinmind on September 14th, 2007 08:19 pm (UTC)
You need a silver truck. That's how good at ninjing you are.

*nods*

You too have robbed me of words. And given that you know I'm writing you a fic that's not of the good.

Thank you. Really. I don't know what else to say.

(regardless of fandom, the sentiment in the icon is the point)

And that woman didn't move her bloody suitcase till we got to Ardossan...
(Deleted comment)
(Deleted comment)
the girl who used to dance on fire and brimstone: spn//adrianne laugh - mewhiskyinmind on September 14th, 2007 08:42 pm (UTC)
HA!

Now you're making me worry 'cause I kept nudging it to give her the hint. (whilst tapping along to Steve and Jason - although not together, alas)
(Deleted comment)
the girl who used to dance on fire and brimstone: leffe//mmmm beer - monkey_mattwhiskyinmind on September 14th, 2007 08:53 pm (UTC)
Man, I was still on the train when you texted me about the sangria...

How strong was it?!!
(Deleted comment)
the girl who used to dance on fire and brimstone: music//kane cheers - mewhiskyinmind on September 14th, 2007 08:58 pm (UTC)
LOL!
the girl who used to dance on fire and brimstonewhiskyinmind on September 14th, 2007 08:41 pm (UTC)
I was too busy texting smeckles90 to hear you. Also Steve was singing in my own mp3 at the time so...

Tell D I'm sorry he can't get to see Anubis, but someone had the cold and flaked on me/us which meant he wasn't likely to get the DVDs... *grins* I'll get them to him soon!

How were the oregano olives btw? I like the lemon ones or the mexican ones personally, but if the oregana were in oil as well then I'd be game!

(I may have had some wine tonight, which I bought instead of beer, so I might not be making sense.)
(Deleted comment)
the girl who used to dance on fire and brimstone: text//DUDE!!!! - wenchpixiewhiskyinmind on September 14th, 2007 08:57 pm (UTC)
The DVDs are actually in a bag next to my desk. I'm wondering if I should start carrying them around with me in case you decide to ninje at me again in the train station!

Oooo... I want olives. And good bread. And pate. And soft cheese. And more red wine. And anchovies. And other things I have in a carpet picnic. (yeah... I have carpet picnics. I'm strange.)

emorpheous. Cool. I will go friend him 'cause it'll be easier on him that way!
(Deleted comment)
the girl who used to dance on fire and brimstonewhiskyinmind on September 14th, 2007 09:07 pm (UTC)
*grins* normally it's 5 unless I have an appointment like today. (*bitches at doctor for being an arse* *will post about that tomorrow). I aim for the 20 past train but usually end up on the quarter to one. Because I suck and am unfit.

Carpet picnics rock. Although you sound far too organised for me... *grins*
velvetwhip: Intensity by lilbreckvelvetwhip on September 14th, 2007 10:06 pm (UTC)
:::hugs you tightly:::


Gabrielle
the girl who used to dance on fire and brimstone: willow/xander//embrace (pack) - mewhiskyinmind on September 14th, 2007 11:41 pm (UTC)
*hugs*