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14 September 2007 @ 07:56 pm
I love you guys, really. I had a bad day and I got so many emails and texts (and people sneaking up behind me in the train station) to check I was coping that it just makes me wish I was a better person and actually deserved you as friends.

I'm... not okay. But I'm not *not* okay either.

It's not my to-do-list that's screwing me up right now. Honestly I'm the kind of person who prefers being busy when everything else falls apart. Which is possibly why everything falls apart but right now I won't think about that because if I do I might not want to get up tomorrow morning.

When I said I didn't know how to tell people that I had to let them down... if you've got an email from me today then that is what I was talking about. If you haven't got an email from me today then it's nothing you've done or I've done/not done that's the issue.

I feel terrible because there are those of you who are having as tough, if not a tougher, time than I am right now and I feel like I'm blanking you. But right now I kinda feel like I have to focus on me. That doesn't mean I don't love you, or that I don't completely want you to think that I'm here for you. But... right now I have to be here for me.

I'm sorry.

Things that are promised will be done this weekend. I swear.

Other than that, I might not be here for a while, or (knowing me) I might be here but flippant.

But I will be okay. Eventually.
Current Mood: lovedloved
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the girl who used to dance on fire and brimstone: text//DUDE!!!! - wenchpixiewhiskyinmind on September 14th, 2007 08:57 pm (UTC)
The DVDs are actually in a bag next to my desk. I'm wondering if I should start carrying them around with me in case you decide to ninje at me again in the train station!

Oooo... I want olives. And good bread. And pate. And soft cheese. And more red wine. And anchovies. And other things I have in a carpet picnic. (yeah... I have carpet picnics. I'm strange.)

emorpheous. Cool. I will go friend him 'cause it'll be easier on him that way!
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the girl who used to dance on fire and brimstonewhiskyinmind on September 14th, 2007 09:07 pm (UTC)
*grins* normally it's 5 unless I have an appointment like today. (*bitches at doctor for being an arse* *will post about that tomorrow). I aim for the 20 past train but usually end up on the quarter to one. Because I suck and am unfit.

Carpet picnics rock. Although you sound far too organised for me... *grins*