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17 April 2010 @ 11:31 am
and the Gold Medal for Pondering goes to...  
I'm havng self-confidence issues again. (Like there's ever a time when I don't.)

I want to write, but it's been so long since I've shared anything that I really don't trust in myself again. I've even had thoughts of sock-puppeting to see if I get any feedback, but then I chicken out.

I have ideas, I have stories which want to be finished, I just don't have the impetus to write.

And on top of that, I was doing a trawl through some of the other icon makers' journals and came across a post which shook my confidence in that area as well. I know I can make good icons. But I don't make great ones. I'm one of the flock and very little of what I do is innovative.

I know this sounds like one of my 'oh my god i'm so depressed' posts, but honestly, I'm not in a bad place right now. Things could be 100 times better, but that's true for everyone, right? I'm being reflective rather than depressive.

I just don't know that I have the ability to stand up and say 'I'm a writer' or 'I'm a digital graphic artist' because right now, I'm not.

And now, in an attempt to be slightly innovative, I'm going to go try to find some UK WWII propaganda posters for a project I ain't talking about yet. And also some Rat Pack pics for another project I ain't talking about (but may have something to do with thedothatgirl having sent me the pilot episode of a show I may have fallen hard for...).

(Oh, also - I now have a bed for the Friday and Saturday night at A4 and a couple of offers of floor space for the Sunday. I LOVE this fandom!)
 
 
Current Mood: quixoticquixotic
Current Music: Christian Kane - Shoulda Been A Cowboy
 
 
Cat: me'n'steve'n'sho'n'bottle!!!!aditu_az on April 17th, 2010 11:12 am (UTC)
PS,
I've always liked your graphics, and thought it was awesome. You are one of my top go-to-graphics people.
This is why I came to you first of anyone about this new project, and I'm very glad I did!
*squish*
the girl who used to dance on fire and brimstone: primeval //gonna die - mewhiskyinmind on April 17th, 2010 11:25 am (UTC)
*squish*

I try to write each day but I end up procrastinating all the time. Like when I think the reason I can't write is because I don't have a proper desk (I'm using the kitchen table right now) or because Pop Master's about to start on the radio or because it's too sunny, or too windy, or whatever.

I need to get myself back into the habit again, I have a fantastic prompt I got by text the other night and I might do a personal NaNoWriMo challenge with it. (maybe 10,000 words in a month, or 2,000 a week or something.)

The icon post I saw actually wasn't me being daunted because the icons were better, it was more a 'how I find inspiration' post where the maker posed the question 'why make icons that look the same as everyone else?'. I don't have an answer just yet, even though it's exactly what I do.

I'll work through it, I seem to be doing better with the larger graphics at the moment anyway - which is why it's been such a pleasure working on your project. Non-fandom and giving me the opporchancity to try various techniques on stock images. Loving it.

(Also, how about having some mention of leopard-print suitcases somewhere in your journal title? *giggles*)

Dammit. I CAN SPELL!! Honestly...

Edited at 2010-04-17 11:27 am (UTC)