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17 April 2010 @ 11:31 am
and the Gold Medal for Pondering goes to...  
I'm havng self-confidence issues again. (Like there's ever a time when I don't.)

I want to write, but it's been so long since I've shared anything that I really don't trust in myself again. I've even had thoughts of sock-puppeting to see if I get any feedback, but then I chicken out.

I have ideas, I have stories which want to be finished, I just don't have the impetus to write.

And on top of that, I was doing a trawl through some of the other icon makers' journals and came across a post which shook my confidence in that area as well. I know I can make good icons. But I don't make great ones. I'm one of the flock and very little of what I do is innovative.

I know this sounds like one of my 'oh my god i'm so depressed' posts, but honestly, I'm not in a bad place right now. Things could be 100 times better, but that's true for everyone, right? I'm being reflective rather than depressive.

I just don't know that I have the ability to stand up and say 'I'm a writer' or 'I'm a digital graphic artist' because right now, I'm not.

And now, in an attempt to be slightly innovative, I'm going to go try to find some UK WWII propaganda posters for a project I ain't talking about yet. And also some Rat Pack pics for another project I ain't talking about (but may have something to do with thedothatgirl having sent me the pilot episode of a show I may have fallen hard for...).

(Oh, also - I now have a bed for the Friday and Saturday night at A4 and a couple of offers of floor space for the Sunday. I LOVE this fandom!)
 
 
Current Mood: quixoticquixotic
Current Music: Christian Kane - Shoulda Been A Cowboy
 
 
 
draconindraconin on April 18th, 2010 01:20 pm (UTC)
I just don't know that I have the ability to stand up and say 'I'm a writer' or 'I'm a digital graphic artist' because right now, I'm not.

Two comments: Firstly, the operative phrase is 'right now'. No-one starts out an expert; it's an on-going process that takes time. Secondly, and related to this, *because* it takes time, we often don't recognise our own expertise. It can take you by surprise when someone says "Wow, you're really good at that!" and our first reaction, based on years of *not* being an expert, is to deny it and think that they're just being polite. Sometimes you need to step back and ask yourself if maybe, just maybe, they're recognising talent that you're blinding yourself to. Sometimes you have to give yourself permission to feel good about the level you've reached. Which is not to say, of course, that there isn't always an even better level to aspire to! :-)